Monday, August 14, 2006
Popularity: 174.72
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Posted: 5.6.2008
Cuisenella
WTF?
Posted: 4.5.2008
MUFFPUMPER
april 19th seattle @ the showbox
Posted: 10.25.2007
MUFFPUMPER
sgl live nov 8 @ neumos in seattle
Posted: 2.1.2007
Tourettula
Shit. Fuck. Poop. Cuddles!
Posted: 12.19.2006
Clell Tickle - officer of propaganda SGL
retrophrenologist, arm yourself with your fucking pan and get back to the front lines bitch! This is the ANTI SPACE! Now go BATTLE For Supremacy you fucking crazy fuck!
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Born out of the fevered dreams of early nineteenth century opium fiends and absinthe addicts, The Retrophrenologist has been plying his trade for almost two hundred years.
His original reason for existence was helpful and friendly, but due to the unique characteristics of his abilities he's usually found employed as a thug or (much less frequently) a goon.
The upshot of this is that he suffers from incredible frustration at work. No one truly appreciates his art, as most people think it's just whacking people in the head all willy-nilly. Which it is not.
This leads to him taking liberties in the execution of his duties and performing additional procedures on his "patients" which were not requested by his employers.
Believe it or not, most of the recipients of his artistry turn out for the better after a visit from The Retrophrenologist.
- According to George Combe
Posted: Friday, August 25, 2006
Tags: George Combe, amativeness
Viewed: 574 times
It's a new series of articles, this time educating the masses on the various organs found in the cranium. I'll be using the list of organs according to the master of the science, George Combe. So without further ado...
1) Amativeness - Produces sexual love.
The faculties falling under this genus do not form ideas, or procure knowledge; their sole function is to produce a propensity of a specific kind. These faculties are common to man with the lower animals.
The cerebellum is connected with the brain; for its fibres originate in the corpora restiformia, from which also the organs of other animal propensities arise. Certain fibres originating in that source, after passing through the optic thalami, expand into the organs of Philoprogenitiveness, Adhesiveness. Combativeness, Destructiveness, &c. The nerves of sight can be traced into the nates, lying very near the same parts; while the nerves of hearing, spring from the medullary streaks on the surface of the fourth ventricle, lying immediately under the cerebellum. These arrangements of cerebral and nervous structure correspond with the facts, that the eyes express most powerfully the passion of love; that abuses of the amative propensity produce blindness and deafness; and that this feeling subsequently excites Adhesiveness, Combativeness, and Destructiveness, into vivid action rendering attachment irresistibly strong, and inspiring even females, who, in ordinary circumstances, are timid and retiring, with courage and determination when under its influence.
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posted Wednesday, December 27, 2006
- Better Know a Blunt Instrument - The Rolling Pin!
Posted: Thursday, August 17, 2006
Tags: blunt instrument, rolling pin
Viewed: 595 times
Used for centuries by amateur retrophrenologists to improve the attitudes of their wayward husbands, the humble rolling pin has fallen out of favor in the last few decades.
While not used by any serious practicioner of the art, the rolling pin found favor in home use. This was probably due to the great convenience of having the tool almost always at hand.
The rolling pin gained most of its fame from its amazing efficacy. Using it, it was found, produced immediate and pronounced results. Recipients underwent 180 degree attitude changes, sometimes even before a blow was struck.
The only drawback, which is what prevents the rolling pin from being used professionally, is that all effects are, sadly, temporary. Much to the chagrin of housewives throughout the ages.
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posted Tuesday, August 22, 2006
- A Brief Description of What I Do
Posted: Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Tags: phrenology, retrophrenology, Terry Pratchett
Viewed: 609 times
Here's a short, concise quote from Terry Pratchett, the world's leading authority on the elegant science of Retrophrenology.
"Phrenology, as everyone knows, is a way of reading someone's character, aptitude and abilities by examining the bumps and hollows on their head.
Therefore, it should be possible to "mould" someone's character by giving them carefully graded bumps in all the right places. You can go into a shop and order an artistic temperament with a tendency to introspection and a side order of hysteria.
What you actually get is hit on the head with a selection of different size mallets."
Consider yourself informed.
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Psychologists.
To rid the world of jerks using the powers of reverse phrenology.
Witty banter, sporadic invulnerability, and the ability to alter your character by hitting you in the head.
Sarcasm and denial.
An assortment of mallets, hammers and other blunt instruments.
Helmets, Platonic solids, and Bullets.